On Songwriting and the Mental Challenge of Being a Solo Artist

In an open-hearted interview with Maria Jane Smith in connection with the RIX FM Festival in Stockholm, she shares insights about life as a solo artist.

You and Victor had a completely "unique" sound together. You can tell it’s a Smith & Thell song. There’s no mistaking it. Has it been hard to find your own sound as a solo artist?

It’s definitely a bit of a journey. It's also hard to describe what a sound is. A sound is as much about which instrument you like to write your music on, how you play your instrument, and your singing voice. On this album, I really longed for the music I listened to as a teenager and to experiment in general. That led to a particular sound. It wasn't so deliberate; it just evolved, but I was a bit afraid at first that it was too weird. Like the first song I had written for the album. I didn’t even show it to the people I work with because I thought this was a little too messy – a bit too hocus pocus, really, but then it wasn’t as strange as I was afraid people would think. There were even some who sang along to this weird song, actually – so I’m happy with it.

What has been the biggest challenge in becoming a solo artist?

It's probably the mental part. It's a different life. I’m learning everything anew. It’s a bit like living life all over again – even though I've done it, now I'm doing it alone and again. The mental part and nerves, self-confidence… performance anxiety, to be honest. You can tell yourself over and over “I just do what I want” and that the songs will be the songs “no matter what,” but then on release day, you actually care. I’ve also had to deal with that – that it’s totally okay. I’m an artist and it’s okay if I sound silly. And then however it goes…

When you’re two, you always have someone to lean on.

Yeah. It's easy to be cool when you're in the studio and in the zone – and then release day comes. You feel it, but I guess that’s how it should be.

How did the idea for the album A Glitch In The Matrix come about?

There is a specific moment. There’s a studio down in my hometown where I spent a lot of time – and where Smith & Thell actually started. Where we did all our first stuff. That place – there was a lot of experimenting and… yeah, it was a nice time. But I’ve wondered if something happened there. That was when I chose to go in a direction – because I know when it was. All of A Glitch In The Matrix is about going back through that door and then out in another direction. “It's a time-travel,” but in the present. So much of the songs are about redoing – or daring to live life again. But in a new way.

I find the whole album to be very personal – maybe even private at times. Was there any song or songs on the album that were harder than others to release?

Yeah, that's just it – it’s easy to sit in the studio and write a diary, and then all of a sudden “oh shit, damn.” I'm pretty introverted. I need to crawl away. I need to be alone. And then suddenly – now I’ve written the most private of the private, things I can hardly talk to my friends about. It’s a bit of a balancing act.

Can you name a song that was harder to release?

Dandelion Kids was special. It actually came out before the album. It was also the format I premiered it in – I had an interview with Carina Bergfeldt. There were things I hadn’t talked about before. I could feel it. I was what you call a mental wreck then, but I’m glad I did it.

Does something happen between you and the songs when a song leaves the studio and reaches the audience?

Yeah, it’s really live when it comes to life and flies out into the ether somehow. A song doesn’t really exist until it’s been played for an audience.

You recently released – in early June – the single Leave My Head – which I understand is a tribute to your sister. Is that right?

Yes.

Describe what it was like to write it.

It came very, very quickly and very naturally. It was just... it was like "did I write this?"... or did I just pick it from the universe somehow. That’s what happens when something just is as it should be. It's a magical feeling. As magical as it is scary, actually. It’s a sound I’m very comfortable with and that we used to use a lot together. It's a tribute to our heroines from the early 2000s and 1990s. We both loved playing on Strøget in Copenhagen. We had our little summer job together. So yes, it’s for her. She would have sung it beautifully with me.

It’s very beautiful. I really like the whole album. It’s very moving.

Thank you so much.

I’m thinking about your writing process – do you have a finished story when you start, or does the story come to you as you write?

It varies a lot. It usually needs to marinate a bit. I'm always writing a little in the back of my mind. I don’t usually decide that now I’m going to sit down and do it, but it pops up conveniently and very inconveniently – and I talk to myself a bit. Yeah, it might sound like a diagnosis, but it’s my job.

Then it’s a good diagnosis, I think.

It’s both good and bad, really. The chatter just goes on in my head.

What comes first – the lyrics or the melody?

It varies.

I can imagine what it’s like to write lyrics, but to write the melody – that to me is magic.

There are as many ways to write as there are songwriters and artists. A lyric is a lyric. But a song is not a song without lyrics – it’s just as important. They come from different directions, so to speak.

If you were to ask someone who has never heard you before to listen to just one song – which song would you choose?

Oh... tough. I would probably say Californa Fairy. Because it was the first written for A Glitch In The Matrix. It has a bit of everything that’s very much me. Fingerstyle guitar, ADHD coming out of my mouth, my longing to really be Eminem.

Is there any song you really want to play live but that hasn’t quite yet gotten the place you feel it deserves?

Good question. No, but… I play on. I play them too.

You go for it?

I just go for it anyway.

What does the future look like – do you have new music projects in the works, or anything else exciting?

The future is now. I do the same thing I’ve always done, and it just gets more and more fun. It’s an endless well of knowledge and you can just dive deeper and deeper – so I’ll keep diving.

You’re good at it. I’m already looking forward to more of your next music.

Thanks.

Do you have any ritual right before you go on stage – or do you just go for it?

Also a very good question. I don’t – and I’ve realized I need one.

What do you mean?

Because I can’t leave it to chance. How it goes, you know. So today I’ve come up with a ritual and it’s to sing Alanis Morissette – loudly. Maria sings a line from the song “Hand In My Pocket”: “I’ve got one hand in my pocket and the other one is giving a high five.” And then I felt pumped today. First I was nervous and then pumped. So I’ll keep doing that. That’s my ritual.

That’s great. Thank you!

Thank you.